Distorted Faces
by triggerhappy.antagonist
Summary: While Waiting For His Team To Arrive, A Very Bored And Very Angry Sasuke Decides To Fight Off Boredom By Doing The Most Unexpected, Most Peculiar Thing Possible. [Oneshot] [WARNING: May Cause Your Lips To Smile!]


**Distorted Faces**

"_They're late…again_._"_

Uchiha Sasuke was not one to easily become frustrated. In fact, he was the exact opposite. He was probably the most calm and pensive one on his team. No, he _was_ the most calm and pensive one on his team.

_Sigh…_

Very few things could actually frustrate him. The list was so short that he could actually recite it unconsciously. It was narrowed down to 3 things: Naruto, fangirls, and vulnerability. In that same order. And that was all.

"_They're always late_._"_

Of course, admittedly, there is one other thing that annoys him—very much so, actually, to the point where he almost, _almost_ feels angry. Tardiness. Sasuke couldn't tolerate tardiness. It drove him insane. And he had to deal with it every single morning.

His teammates were always—_always_—late. Always. Every single morning they arrived late. three—maybe even four—hours after Sasuke's arrival. It provoked him to no end, having to stand there all on his lonesome every morning, staring at the ground and waiting patiently for his team to arrive, all the while attempting to suppress the rage that boiled within him.

Actually, it wasn't so much that they were late, more-so than it was he was early. If he slowed down a little, took his time, it was probable that he would arrive at the precise moment his team did. Though he would never admit that, even at knife-point.

And, like every other morning, this one was no different. He was there, as always, waiting for his team, as always, at the bridge they met at every morning, looking relatively calm and pensive, as always.

And discreetly hiding the burning sensation of frustration welling within him. As always.

Sasuke leaned back against the worn rails of the bridge, evoking a shrill moan from the shabby planks. He was standing in a rather lazy and flaccid position, one that was more apt to suit Shikamaru than himself. His pale arms were splayed across the railing, acting as the meager support that prevented him from falling.

His face was set in a forlorn expression. Dark, onyx eyes narrowed, lips arched into a frown, brows furrowed. His penetrating stare was directed at nothing in particular, fixated upon the ground at his feet. His head jerked at every sound he heard, but besides that he remained completely motionless.

To say he was bored was an understatement. To say he was irritated was an understatement as well. He was past the point of bored, and moving on to inexorably rotting into the ground below his feet from lack of movement. The inner itch of irritation had long since dispersed, and been replaced by the burning sensation of unadulterated anger and hatred.

He was tempted to move. Tempted to shout, "Fuck this!" and go home. Tempted to yell and scream and unleash his inner rage upon something. Tempted to rip his hair out and repeatedly bang his head against a wall. Tempted to find something—_anything_—to do.

He was _that _bored.

Of course, a painfully exuberant village like Konoha, in which there was never a dull moment, contained many countless things that could indubitably disintegrate the overwhelming boredom Sasuke felt. In fact, he didn't even have to look to discover some possible boredom-killers.

Groups of little children were scattered throughout the streets of Konoha, many of them engaged in certain kid games. There were hopscotch games, Jacks, jump ropes, soccer, tag, and hide-and-seek. Sasuke, undoubtedly, could easily walk up to those children and join in their game without question.

Then again, it would seem very stupid for a Genin to associate with children. Especially an infamous Shinobi such as himself. It just wasn't right. So that idea was completely out of the question.

There were several forgotten items strewn haphazardly on the streets, which ranged from broken pieces of chalk to baby dolls with missing limbs. Surely Sasuke could relinquish his boredom on one of those.

That idea was even dumber than the last. It was completely unacceptable for him to even _think_ about _touching_ a baby doll. He was a ninja. Ninja do not play with dolls. It's an unwritten rule of sorts.

Sasuke heaved a long, miserable sigh. He shuffled his feet to one side, just to ensure that they were still intact and not rotting into the ground. Then he raised and lowered his arms, twitched his fingers, and bobbed his head, all for that same reason.

When he was reassured that he still had control of his motor skills, Sasuke hauled himself into an upright position, turned around, and leaned heavily against the railing in the same flaccid style as before, only this time his backside wouldn't be jammed into the hard wood.

Sasuke crossed his arms and propped his chin on his knuckles, letting his aching legs go limp so he was merely hanging off the railing by his arms. Although he probably looked pretty stupid in that position, he didn't bother to move. It wasn't like anyone was watching him or anything.

He gazed out across the river below him with the same expression as before, though this one held a certain tranquility to it, which almost made him appear indolent. Had anyone been within a 100-foot radius of him, he would have immediately dropped the lethargic act and put on his usual stoic mask. Fortunately, as no one was around, he felt he could drop the façade for a just a little while.

His teeth clicked together in a quick, tuneless beat, pausing only on occasion to blow away the stray raven locks that kept falling into his eyes. He had a strange desire to lift his feet and swing on the railing—just for the fun of it. But he knew that it would definitely cross the line.

"_Bored, bored, bored. I'm still bored."_

Sasuke thought back to the broken pieces of chalk he'd seen scattered on the ground, and how nice they would look scraping across the pavement. He quickly reprimanded the thought, and reminded himself that Shinobi do not draw on the ground with chalk.

He briefly wondered if Shinobi were allowed to play hopscotch, but beat the contemplation to death before he could actually think about it, then pinched himself for being so stupid.

"_Only a fool like Naruto would sink to that level…"_

The very thought of his hyper-active blonde teammate made the Uchiha's mouth arch in a scowl. Any consideration of the energetic fox child was soon accompanied by thoughts of Kakashi and Sakura, which in turn only reminded Sasuke of how much he hated them.

"_Idiots. They're all idiots."_

The off-beat chatter of his teeth was stopped and replaced by constantly puffing his cheeks full with air and exhaling slowly. The very last of his patience was slowly seeping away in the breaths of air he released.

"_I wonder what's taking them so long…"_

Sasuke's mind began to wander off with distinct—and very unlikely—contemplations of what was taking his team so long. Most of which were quite implausible. But hey, it kept him occupied.

"_Kakashi probably suffocated on that mask of his. Hwah, serves him right."_

His brows scrunched together in slight irritation.

"_And Naruto…I bet he choked to death on his ramen. Hah! Dobe."_

Obsidian eyes expanded and twinkled contently at the mental image.

"_Sakura…probably got mauled to death by a dog or something. It's possible."_

A small sound emitted from the back of Sasuke's throat, one which sounded oddly like a suppressed snicker. He quickly denied it, though. Shinobi don't snicker. He spared a glance at the surrounding area to ensure that no one had heard him.

Fortunately, the area still remained desolate. Unfortunately, that meant that Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto had yet to arrive. The anger and frustration that had been momentarily surrendered to his thoughts welled up again. And, with a look that crossed between pouting and scowling, Sasuke whipped his head back around and glared daggers into the swirling water below…

—Only to have his expression switch from ominous glowering to brusque surprise and…amusement? A strange feeling of delight began to grow in the pit of his stomach, sending chills crawling up his spine. He almost—almost, to the breaking point—couldn't retain the laughter that swelled in the back of his throat.

The raven-haired boy abruptly rammed his arm into his mouth. Small, anomalous snorting noises—that would have made even Itachi himself blink and stare—were barely muffled as he fought to contain them.

Reflecting in the surface of the river below was his face, usually masked by an appearance of arrogance and impassiveness, which is what he presumed he would see upon glancing into the water. Instead, he found himself staring into a face that sharply contrasted against his mask.

The eyes of the pale countenance were expanded and held a derisive look in them, but also contained hints of anger. The dark eyebrows were knitted together, causing the forehead to crease, and dull lips were set in a full pout. Pallid cheeks were puffed full and round with air, making the entire face seem bloated.

Sasuke finally felt he'd regained his composure, and pulled his arm away; wiping whatever was left of the ghost of a smile that had graced his lips with it. Onyx eyes darted left and right to ensure, once again, that no one had seen the slip of his masquerade.

He re-aligned his glowering countenance and returned it to the surface of the water. But in the back of his mind, the image of the distorted expression he'd unconsciously twisted his face into remained distinct.

Now, as he gazed upon the dismal reflection he had a tight embrace of, he found himself abnormally bored with it. He was tempted to see a different countenance on his face.

Sasuke felt the irritating sensation of a small itch run up his nerves. And it wasn't the kind of itch he could simply scratch and will away. He wasn't _tempted_ to see a different countenance on his face—he _wanted_ to. No, he _needed_ to.

His sanity had a duel with boredom and lost. Sasuke stood on the tips of his sandals to get a better view of the water. He gingerly brought his hands up to meet his face, and hesitated. In all honesty, it had been many years since he'd last done this.

The dark-haired Shinobi finally swallowed the swollen ball of pride he possessed, and temporarily allowed his impassive mask to slip off. He jammed his fingers into the soft skin below his eyes and stretched it down, puffed his cheeks with air, and jut out his upper jaw.

The expression remained frozen on his face for only a moment before abruptly falling off and being replaced by one of jollity. Sasuke could not contain it this time. He buried his head in his arms and stifled a chuckle.

Gaining back his composure, Sasuke examined the area for people, and after finding it deserted, returned to his looming position on the bridge railing. This time, he pressed his thumb into his nose, pushed it up, and crossed his eyes.

He hadn't the time to react before a loud, jovial laugh escaped from his mouth. He dropped the expression and promptly stuffed his hands over his lips. The bark of mirth was cut off so brusquely, it left an eerie silence hanging in the air afterwards.

Sasuke's eyes darted about relentlessly, fearing the worst. Fortunately, he'd muted the laughter before anyone could question it. Not that anyone was around to question it anyhow.

The Sharingan-wielder exhaled sharply, and then returned to his amusing—if not childish, obtuse and peculiar—game. He clamped two fingers onto his ears and tugged them forward, then stuck out his tongue.

The results were equivalent; another dropped expression, another muffled laugh, another assurance of his isolation. He was almost completely certain that the area was absolutely desolate, which only encouraged him to let his stoic façade slip a little more.

Sasuke shoved his index fingers into his mouth and stretched it wide, rolled his eyes back into his head, and did his best impression of the noise a gargling ostrich would make.

The dreadful sound itself made the Uchiha burst out in a fit of startling, unanticipated giggles, much more attention-drawing than the last. This bout of laughter, however, he found himself unable to repress. Pressing his forehead against the railing, Sasuke allowed the laughter to emit.

It sounded strange and foreign coming from his mouth, these unusual sounds. He had not heard them in a long time, especially coming from him. Had anyone been within hearing distance of the raven-haired boy, they undoubtedly would have fallen into a trance of utter astonishment.

The day Uchiha Sasuke laughs is the day of the apocalypse. Smiling was an act he was rarely caught doing, and anyone who was granted the pleasure of seeing him grin would instantly grin themselves. But laughing was a whole different matter. It was just not right.

Even Sasuke realized how deplorable and downright preposterous it was for him to laugh. The mere thought of it was abnormal. And yet, he found he was unable to stop. Either because he actually _liked_ the feeling the jovial noise left in his heart, or he simply had no control of it whatsoever was completely unknown to him.

The giggles had barely begun to subside before Sasuke re-positioned himself on the railing—this time actually permitting himself to swing his legs up and hang on the bridge rails—and prepared another amusing expression.

Ramming his thumbs into the sides of his mouth, Sasuke pulled and stretched the skin upwards into a large, clown-like smile that revealed every one of his teeth. He then crossed his eyes, raised his eyebrows, and emitted a raw "Guuuuuuuuuuhhh" sound, that deepened into a half-growl.

That was just too much. With a desperate gasp, Sasuke hung his head over the railing, choking and coughing in an attempt to catch his breath. But every burst of oxygen he forced into his lungs was instantly repelled in his fit of laughter.

His cheeks tinted a deep scarlet from lack of air, and a wave of vertigo swept past him. Sasuke almost felt that he would vomit from laughing so hard. He briefly wished he'd had a camera on him to snap a picture of the amusing expression.

He felt good; better than he'd felt in a long time. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed this hard—or laughed at all, for that matter. Admittedly, it gave him a sensation of warmth that he had not experienced since his parents had died. It made him feel invulnerable, strong, like everything that was wrong in his life would turn out alright.

He liked it.

And when the laughter finally abated, and he blinked away the tears of mirth, Sasuke was surprised to see another strange expression staring back at him from the water below. A smile. An actual, real, honest smile.

He never thought he'd see one of those on his face.

For a brief moment, Sasuke was sure; positively, absolutely sure, that everything would be alright. That life was not so bad. That it was all worth living for.

Unfortunately, like all good things, this was brusquely brought to an end. Sasuke was so caught up in his own world that he failed to take notice of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy jogging towards him at top speed, nor the masked Jounin and the pink-headed Kunoichi that accompanied the blonde.

—Until said blonde literally pounced upon the raven-haired and yelled with an impenetrably boisterous voice, "HEY, SASUKE!"

The abrupt yell evoked the heart of the Uchiha to rapidly cease beating. Arms flailing wildly, face contorting into a look of shock, he remained suspended on the bridge railing for only a moment, before plummeting over with a short noise of surprise, and plunging into the river.

The resounding splash of breaking water was heard as the Sharingan-wielder re-surfaced only seconds after his plummet. His limbs thrashed about unsteadily, obviously panicking at the sudden change in temperature. He finally managed to stable himself, only to teeter backwards once again and land in a pool of seaweed.

Sasuke could distinctly hear noises coming from above. The sound of someone being clumped on the head, a yelp of pain, a female voice shouting, "Look what you did, Naruto!", a low, husky chuckle…

The dark-haired boy tilted his head forward, allowing thick strands of clumped, sodden hair to conceal his crimson-tainted cheeks. He was embarrassed, to say the least. More-so at being caught off guard by the physically-challenged blonde than anything else.

A large, gloved hand fell into his line of vision. Sasuke spared a glance up at the grinning face of Kakashi, who had a look of total amusement on his face. Scowling, the Uchiha hesitantly offered up his own hand. He didn't want to make any more of a fool of himself than he already had.

The Jounin effortlessly hoisted the younger boy out of the river and over the railing, then set to work on wringing out the mop of sopping black hair clinging to the boy's head.

Sakura was at Sasuke's side in a second, wiping seaweed and mud from his clothes and offering her futile attempts at comfort in a shrill, concern-written tone.

"Oh, Sasuke, I'm so sorry! Are you alright? Stupid Naruto… you're not hurt, are you?"

Sasuke remained completely silent and immobile. He ignored the apprehensive griping of Sakura, and the painful sensation of Kakashi tugging on his hair much too violently. Instead, he focused all his chakra on willing the steady blush on his face to diminish.

He was almost certain that one of them knew what he had been doing. The precise person was unknown, but nonetheless he knew—somewhere deep inside—that someone had seen him. He was just anticipating the snide remarks and chuckles that would soon be directed his way.

Surprisingly, they never came. Kakashi finally withdrew his hands from Sasuke's hair, after gently fluffing it dry, and Sakura picked off the last bit of mud. Then, without a word, the silver-haired Jounin gave a short wave of his hand and proceeded to walk away, as if nothing had happened.

Sakura followed soon after without a word, leaving only Naruto and Sasuke standing alone on the bridge. Naruto with a twisted look of undecipherable emotions on his face, Sasuke with an averted expression of shame as he settled the ball of fluff that Kakashi had turned his hair into.

Finally, after minutes of silence, Naruto uttered in the darkest, most ominous tone Sasuke had ever heard him use, "I saw what you did." He let the words sink in, before sprinting past Sasuke to catch up with his group. His spikes of golden whipping the older boy in the face as he passed.

And, from that day forward, Sasuke swore, under pain of death, that he would never make funny faces at himself ever again.

—**OWARI**—

**This Is Just A Simple—If Not Amusing—Oneshot That I've Been Working On In My Spare Time. I'm Very Proud Of It, More-So At The Original Idea Than The Story Itself. Strangely Enough, I Can Distinctly Picture Sasuke Leaning On The Bridge Railing, With His Feet Swinging Off The Ground, Making Faces At Himself To Ward Off Boredom.**

**Then Again, It's Probably Just My Peculiar, Sleep-Deprived Mind Forcing Twisted Imagery Into My Head.**

**And I Do Realize That Sasuke Is Out Of Character. But Hey, God Only Knows What That Boy Does When He's Alone. He Can't Be Emo All The Time, Can He? The Mask Has To Slip Off At Some Point. Besides—What Better Way To Fight Off Boredrom Than To Make Funny Faces At Yourself?**

**And Yes—I Did Have To Spend Countless Hours Standing In Front Of A Mirror, Twisting My Face Into Many Different Expressions To Find The Right Ones. So I Honestly Hope You Enjoyed This, Or The Pain I Suffered Will Be For Naught.**


End file.
